Untitled Document

Vampire Hands Spring 2008 - US Tour Blog
by Colin Johnson

posted on Apr 03rd, 2008 at 02:40:12 pm

All the Dates, new tour bloggings, all here, yadda yadda, we leave Saturday.

APRIL
5- Milwaukee, WI at Franks Power Plant with France Has the Bomb, The Bold Ones, and The Menthols
6- Chicago, IL at the AV-Aerie with Tirra Lirra and U.S. Girls
7- Bloomington, IN at the Cinemat with Resting Rooster and Amo Joy!
9- Columbus, OH at Carabar with El Jesus DeMajico and Slide Machine
10- Cleavland, OH at the Davenport with Braille
11- New York, NY at Club Midway with December Sound
12- Philadelphia, PA at the ATM House with Private Sea, So So Death, and Hermit Thruses
13- Greenville, NC at the Spazzatorium Galleria with Church of the Snake and Maps
14- New London, CT at the Oasis w/ TBA
15- New York, NY at Glasslands with the Gamut
16- Washington D.C. at the Velvet Lounge with Carla Bozulich's Evangalista and Tom Greenwood (Jackie O-Motherfucker)
17- If you happen to know someone who wants to throw a show in Philly that night, hit us up!
18- New York, NY at the Fillmore at Irving Plaza with Tapes 'n Tapes and White Denim
19- New York, NY at The Williamsburg Music Hall with Tapes n' Tapes and White Denim
20- Knoxville, TN at the Birdhouse with Royal Bangs
21- St. Louis, MO at Camp Concentration with Dust Bunny
22- Lawrence, KS at The Replay Lounge with Mythical Beast
23- Denver, CO at the Hi-Dive with Neva Dinova and Ladyhawk
25- Los Angeles, CA at the Echo Curio with Chapa and TBA
26- Davis, CA at the DAM Haus with Sic Alps, Crash Normal, and Mayyors
27- Oakland, CA at a BBQ with No Doctors and NEDS
28- San Francisco, CA at the Mansion with TBA
29- Portland, OR at Lewis and Clark College with Booze Howl
30- Portland, OR TBA

MAY
1- Olympia, WA at Le Voyeur
2- Seattle, WA at the Vera Project with Pleasure Boaters, Cryptacize, and PWRFL Power
3- Missoula, MT at the Badlander/FRIEND FRIEND FRIEND FEST with a shit load of bands.
7- Minneapolis, MN at the 7th ST. Entry with Dead Meadow, and First Communion Afterparty

posted on Apr 09th, 2008 at 08:18:13 am

4/5
By implying that we had all of our ducks sitting in a row is bullshit. Up until the time that we left, we still had stuff to take care of (which for anyone who knows us is kind of an understatement) and one of these things included swinging by my work on the way out of town and picking up my check, which I had previously arranged to be there early. Show up, no check. Call the owner, checks won't be there for another hour or so, and we're already an hour behind schedule so we take off with money stress being the thing first and foremost on my mind. Whatever, we worked it out and were on our way to Milwaukee.
Recently, I've developed the habit of getting anywhwere from kind of or completely too drunk before we play to deal with my increasing levels of anxiety and stage fright (which have really started rearing their ugly heads in the last year or so), and to save my self time and to avoid redundancy, just assume that everything post-van ride takes place within varying levels of intoxication. The show is great and I end up hanging out with my friend Courtney most of the night, which was great to catch up and all that.
Having lived in Milwaukee for a brief spell, it is still one of my absolute favorite places in America. I am so damn in love with everything about it. All the people I know are stellar and there's something so specific about the architecture, or the kind of houses, the way the streets are laid out...the perfect width, it seems as if everything is spaced out so perfectly, that there are hills in all the right spots, etc... Maybe it's because moving there really marked the beginning of my adulthood (in my mind, which is a relative expression), but it will always be kind of my happy place. I breathe easier, I smile more, I feel comfortable (which is a luxury I do not commonly afford myself in MPLS). At the risk of dragging this love letter to MKE out too long, the show was great and the whole night was dotted with unexpected encounters and a brief trip to what may or may not have been rockabilly heaven.

4/6
Bummed around my friends house for a bit, had a delicious fruit smoothie and a cup of coffee (breakfast of champions). Everyone gets moving and we make our goodbyes and head to Chicago after ammending my dire cash situation (thanks Babeland). Show up to the AV-Aerie in Chicago and it is every bit as amazing as I had been led to believe. It's really something else... huge warehouse space with 35' ceilings, nice low stage, some modest lighting, good p.a. the whole shebang. We take the freight elevator down to load our equipment in with a dolly. Load everything up and as we're entering the elevator Chris' amp falls backwards off the dolly really hard. I mean, it's only six inches off the ground but it is fucking heavy and the thud did not sound like a "walk it off" kinda hit. Knots in our stomachs, we bring it upstairs and plug it in. It's at about half volume and we are bumming out to an extreme because the guitar tone is such a huge part of what our band is "supposed" to sound like. We figure that it's a shattered pre-amp tube and work out that we'll use Tirra Lirra's amp that night. We (sans babeland--a consistent beacon of sober light) commence hitting it hard. It's about 7 and the doors aren't until 9 so there's alot of downtime and chatting with the other bands about records, touring, recording, blah blah blah boring band shit that tends to sound kind of dudey and shoppy (and by default- boring) to anyone who isn't in a band (or directly involved in dealing with bands on a regular basis). Doors open, we start running up and down three flights of steps in order to smoke which makes me feel like I'm counter-balancing the 8 beers I've had since we've arrived. U.S. Girls starts and omg it was bomb. I'm not usually the type of dude who gets performance crushes on band girls, but I was/am so fascinated by her music and the kind of overwhelming effect it has on me emotionally, that I feel as if I was gawking. Music that makes me kind of sullen has such a much more profound impact upon me, and there was something so simultaneously abrassive and tender about her songs and performance that I was transported in to a kind of ethereal mood. Y'know when shit kind of sparkles a little bit more? Well, yeah. There isn't alot of shit I can say that about. More running, more climbing, soon as I know it, we have to play. Show goes well, we chat it up a bit more with the other bands and Marshall who runs the space (amazing dude) and head over to Grant's Tomb's little bro's place in Lincoln Park. End up drinking and smoking entirely too much. I, for the first time in maybe 4 years, start to get surly and agitated by these DePaul kids. Grant's little bro Blake is a stand up dude to an enth degree, and most of his friends are cool too, but I really got into with a kid about sociology and ethnomusicology (his majors) and told him he was full of shit and that his opinions on music are based on his desire to over intellectualize things in an attempt to legitimize them (the way he talked about music was as if it was a perverse fetish, almost like it was a guilty pleasure to enjoy something, and kept on asking for people to put on "real black music" or Steely Dan). I was in a mood alright, I was out of line and rude, and I tried so hard to drunkenly apologize and make it clear that I wasn't normally like that, while at the same time feeling totally justified and wastedly self-righteous. I put on this facade of caring about his feelings when in all actuality I didn't and I don't. I'm stumbling for a sentance to end this with.

4/7
Dilly dally around Chicago and get lost in Gary, Indiana. The presumed mayor of Gary, Rudy Clay, "cares about people" (a billboard we saw). I am becoming more and more interested in economics and needless to say, Gary is a prime example of poverty. It's kind of like nothing I've ever seen before, like the car wreck cliche, horrifying and impossible to look away from. Roofs of houses in varying stages of caving in, garbage everywhere, we passed a theatre that had crooked letters on the marquee that said "JACKSON 5 T NIG T" with a couple of the letters about to fall off (I can only imagine that the sign had been redone at some point to commemorate the successful Gary export, but had not been maintained in years). Bloomington was unnoteworthy other than playing while "The Holy Mountain" was projected behind us. I played with my back completely to the audience and watched the movie the whole set. We left at 1 and got to Columbus at 5 am.

posted on Apr 11th, 2008 at 05:36:11 pm

4/8
Thank God Detroit fell through. The sinus infection I've had for about a month now isn't really getting better so my voice is kind of ragged and having a day off is really nice. Much like the last tour diary, I could gush about how great all the people are here for hours. A town that has been too good to us without any explanation other than awesome hospitality. Excited for the show tonight, and there will be more later.

4/9
Columbus was crazy. Played with two awesome bands. Had fun, sold a ton of stuff, the Twin Reverb was a sufficient fill-in for the Traynor. We enjoyed ourselves.

4/10
Bummed around Columbus, picked up Chris' totally refitted Traynor, returned the Twin, stopped at a McD's on our way out of town to use the bathroom and the van died. Wouldn't turn over, got a jump, died, jumped again, wouldn't turn, finally did, whatever. Got to Cleveland and it sucked. Sucked, sucked, sucked. My voice is mad fucked up We drove an hour to Youngstown and got a hotel room.

4/11
Woke up after sleeping for 4 hours, started medicating my voice. Drove to New York and I am so damn happy to be here. My favorite city ever. Good friends here too, can't wait to play tonight despite my throat condition. Tevs. Bill Fay makes my life better

posted on on Apr 13th, 2008 at 05:41:10 pm

4/11 (cont...)
Our friend Laurie drove around the Lower East Side while we played. No parking within 20 or so blocks, the show went well none the less and afterwards I realized how happy I am that most bars aren't open until 4.

4/12
Ordered some of the best Mexican food I've ever had in my life and it set the tone for the day. Got the house we were playing and hung out. Our hosts were great and had a blast hanging out all night. My voice is starting to feel better now and I'm singing twice as well as earlier on in the tour. It was an ideal kind of party to play, it seemed like after an hour you knew everyone by name and there was a lot of good vibes through out. There are times I wish that drinking wasn't such a ubiquitous party activity, but I enjoy it so much sometimes. No exceptions.

posted on Apr 12th, 2008 at 03:37:17 am
Whiskey is good for your voice. Proof tonight.

posted on Apr 12th, 2008 at 01:11:37 pm
Whoa, my voice feels about 1,000,000 x better this morning, I think I have willed my way through sickness once again.

posted on Apr 12th, 2008 at 01:19:21 pm
We're (in NY) right now. Lovin' it. We were eating in a LES cafe last night (in Alphabet City) and Leonard Cohen walked by. I am about as sure of this as any celeb sighting I've ever had. If it wasn't him, that resemblence was uncanny as a mothafuck.

posted on Apr 13th, 2008 at 05:41:10 pm

4/11 (cont...)
Our friend Laurie drove around the Lower East Side while we played. No parking within 20 or so blocks, the show went well none the less and afterwards I realized how happy I am that most bars aren't open until 4.

4/13
Cancelled our show in Greenville, we're having difficulties with the electrical stuff in the van. Got a hotel in Jersey and are watching Bruce Willis movies on TNT. I'm getting really depressed about Vampire Weekend. I wish we didn't share that dumb word in a dumb name. I want to change our name, I'm sick of it anyway so I don't really care. Fresh start, fuck it. I never want to read our name along theirs in the same sentence again. It's not because I don't like them, it's because we don't do the same thing, there's no reason for there to be any association, it's just vacuous grasping. Perhaps they are so much more relevant because they broke a word in a band name, despite us "having" it first, I would be more than happy to bid adieu to it just so I would never have to read their name again. Boo hoo, I'm a little baby boy, wait for my dis tape.

posted on Apr 14th, 2008 at 07:57:54 pm

4/14
Slept in (boy, doesn't that sound familiar?) and had to rush out of our hotel room. Last night I took an extremely long bath and it calmed me down a ton. Baths have always helped me deal with stress and never fail to put me in a really good mood and if I take them before bed I sleep better than ever. This perhaps contributed to me turning my phone alarm off and sleeping for another two hours. Ran some errands around Jersey and got on the Turnpike to head to CT. Listened to Edan "Beauty and the Beat" all the way through, and man that albums still fucking kills me. So masterfully put together, jaw droppingly good. Also hit up the Ju Suk Reet Meate album and it is great, really something else. Got a call that our show in New London was cancelled. Go to New York and went record shopping. We are dumbasses. There is no excuse for our excessive "fun" spending, but tevs. Made dinner, sipping whiskey, etc...good day today.

posted on Apr 17th, 2008 at 01:40:19 am

4/15
Played an absolutely amazing space in New York called Glasslands with the Gamut (former Minneapolis boys), and a couple other bands that I can only describe as, ahem, "uptown?" The Gamut was great, very Suicide. The show went really well and we got to see some more folks that live out there now. Wandered to a bar at 2 to shoot pool and drink whiskey, coincidently enough, the only bar in Brooklyn that closes at 2. Ended up at this bar "Daddy's" which we always end up at for good reason. Shot the shit with our friend Derek and I got damn hammered. We all did. Got to the point where I can't remember if I "fell asleep" or "passed out" and really, there is no difference worth discerning that late at night.

4/16
Got up and had the same breakfast for the second day in a row. On Metropolitan in Williamsburg there is this place called the Bagel Store that serves what I believe to be the absolute best bagels in the free world. I enjoyed the sunshine. Went back to our friend Laurie's place and got ready to head out. Stopped at Glasslands and picked up the $400 worth of merch we forgot there the night before and headed to Washington D.C. On the ride down I finished "Crazy From The Heat," and boy, did it put me in a mood. There's this weird tonal change in the second half of the book where David Lee Roth really starts to reveal some heavy aspects of his personality. The ending comes down to this somber cruise and it really hit me. I turn 26 in ten days and it's fucking bumming me out, and reading a book by a dude who has always had this outlook of living life to the fullest no matter what the cost and I have lived the majority of my life in crippling fear of damn near everything (to some extent), and it's catching up with me and I really need to turn this shit around. I can't imagine spending the next 26 years of my life bordering on panic attacks because everytime I get into a car I can't help but dwell on the worst case scenario. Bon Chance.

Got to Washington D.C. and had the worst Chinese food I've ever eaten in my life. The Velvet Lounge is a nice little venue and I was really glad the show was there. Garlands of Hours played after us and she was really something else. Super great voice, beautiful cello playing, etc...the shebang. Evangilista was stellar. Probably one of the best sounding shows I've ever seen. Carla Bozulich is such an intriguing personality and has so much charisma. The band was great as well, great, great, great, I will run out of adjectives trying to do it justice. On the way out of the bar I did the most detestably fan-boy-y thing I've ever done. Ian Svenonius was at the show so I walked up to him and handed him our record, blushing like a complete moron, and chatted with him for a bit. Totally made my night. It was weird, but fuck it.

posted on Apr 17th, 2008 at 11:41:04 pm

4/17
Van died entering the Holland Tunnel on the NJ/NYC border. Biiiiiiiiiiiiig traffic jam. Our alternator, I think, it was really easy to push. It's at a Pep Boys in Jersey. The worst part about all of this will be that we have to pay that $8 toll again. Watching "My Super Ex-Girlfriend" right now. I sometimes fantasize about sharks being land animals.

posted on Apr 22nd, 2008 at 02:41:32 am

4/18-19
Playing big venues is fun.

4/20
Left NYC at 4 in the morning after the show. Got to Knoxville and played a super awesome space called the Birdhouse. Fun ensued and due to the serious mental/physical strife I had inflicted upon my body the previous two nights in conjunction with sleep deprivation I felt as though I had lost my mind. It was a glorious turn that I had not inticipated and do not think that I will be coming back from. Went to sleep listening to The Perfect Prescription.

4/21
Woke up and our host Brian came back to the space and dropped off shoes that we bought the previous night. Now we are all wearing matching white martial arts shoes, there are specialized for wall climbing and stunts. They feel like socks. They look like this.
Drove 8 hours to St. Louis and played a great record store called Apop. Good show for a Monday night, no doubt. We almost just convinced Bierden that Tia Carerre and Jon Lovitz are married irl.
I read this blog that said we were "another hot vampire band, but sounds like a poor man's Liars instead of a rich man's OAR." Now, far be it from me to criticize someone's opinion, but the song he posted was "Safe Word." For those familiar with the song, there is NO resemblence to Liars whatsoever. I actually chuckled at a bad review. It was incredibly liberating. I can't believe anyone takes these people seriously. What qualifies a blogger? Free time? Basic knowledge of HTML? I'm sure there's about as many requirements to post your opinion on the internet under the guise of authority as there are to start a band. Proper equipment and enough money to acquire said gear. Maybe time, but it seems if you were going to make such a dumbass statement that wouldn't be a priority. The whole phenomenon is mind b(l)oggling (HAR!)!!

posted on Apr 23rd, 2008 at 10:00:16 pm

4/22
Got too too drunk. Thanks Lawrence. A kid proposed to a girl during our set. She said yes and they kissed throughout the entire song. He was so shy he could barely speak into the mic, he just kind of, pulled the ring clumsily out of his pocket and her hands went to her mouth. She looked so happy it made me want to cry. People were hootin' and hollerin' at them while we played, music sounds better when it's celebratory. I don't know where Powers whiskey has been my whole life, but fuck I'm in love.

I'm stressing about the new music I hear in my head. It's not really easily conjured, there are reference points, sure, but it's not like anything we've done before and I'm afraid that the guys won't be down for it. Extremely fucking paranoid. I don't care about anyone elses opinion outside of theirs, and if they think it sucks I'm not sure what I'll do. It's all I've been thinking about all day long, in the van, day after day. This new thing so tiny and unassuming, but if I'm remembered for anything I am am bloody sure that this will be it. My first "real" contribution to anything.

posted on Apr 26th, 2008 at 01:39:34 pm

4/23
It seemed as though Denver should have been closer and took less time to drive to than it did, but it didn't and it wasn't blah blah blah. Played with Ladyhawk and Neva Dinova. Ladyhawk was great, fucking fun and awesome dudes too. Miraculously, my "mood" (and by "mood" I mean rising anxiety/depression) snapped that night and I started feeling really much much better than I have in months.

4/24
Drove thirteen goddamn ridiculous hours to Las Vegas. Chris and Alex are sick. Las Vegas makes me sick. Like, the feeling that something is so unnatural and fucked up that it exists is the notion I get when I am there. Beautiful drive though. We got out at a scenic cliff 7 hours into the drive, I climbed a tree and we ran around taking photos.

4/25
100 degrees in Death Valley and we don't have air conditioning. Whoops. It was sweaty. Almost dropped sixty bucks at a truck stop looking through their CD selection but had to restrain myself because then I would've had to eat my shoes for the next week. Got to L.A. and ate at this adorable restaurant next to the venue, my steak tacos were transcendental, I have never enjoyed corn tortillas up to this point. Set up our equipment and found out the "special guest" was Akron/Family. Got my drunk on. Thank you Tullamore Dew (evertime I read or say that name, "Danny Boy" and kinds of other Irish things go off like alarm clocks in my head). Judd (who used to play in Duplomacy) came out and we got down. Went to what is the equivilent to a dive bar themed TGI Fridays. The tagging inside on the walls looks like they paid kids to come in during the day and fuck it up. I almost felt bad for calling it "fake dive" or "TGI Dive Bar" or "Dive Bar Applebees" numerous times throughout the night to various residents of LA, but I also don't give a fuck. Went to another bar that was playing obnoxious awful techno with a lot of awful LA dancing and stood around making fun of these dudes who could've easily fucked me up for sucking at pool. We snuck our pints out in Judds bag and walked down Sunset BLVD drinking my $4 pint of Pabst. Got back to the space and watched Akron/Family from outside while we smoked cigs. Lotsa pretty girls everywhere, "seena whotta peepa comma lookin' fowa moonbeam." I don't like L.A. very much. Couldn't find a place to stay and we ended up driving for an hour with me and Bierden drunk off our asses in the back listening to "Veterans of Disorder" super loud with me insisting, "TRAK TOO DOOOD, TRAK TOO, AGAIN AGAIN." Dropped a hunded worthless dollars on a room. I can't believe they made a Coneheads movie.

BEE TEE DUBS (cutest thing I've ever seen)

posted this on Apr 30th, 2008 at 02:09:09 am
4/26
Playing in a living room with the front door and all the windows closed (with no fans) in a house on a 95 degree day with about 75 of your closest friends in Davis, CA seems about the worst idea ever, but it was the first time we had played our songs at the speeds at which they were written in over a year. We physically could not play like we normally do and all had puddles around us afterwards. Crippling heat. I laid down in the van the rest of the night until we drove to S.F.

4/27
Without any doubt, the best birthday I've ever had. The things that make birthdays great were all there. BBQ, great bands, lovely house, sun light, kegs of Pabst Blue Ribbon, friends you don't often see, and making a bunch of new ones. Again, playing in a poorly ventilated attic in 90 degree heat is ideal, but then again, I would have never played my birthday show with my shirt off (and you can only speculate the kind of chemical combination that needs to take place in order to get me shirtless: Johnsonville Cheddarwurst, other various red meats, beer and stuff). No Doctors were awesome.

I'll catch up more later.

posted on Apr 30th, 2008 at 01:37:18 pm

4/30
Woke up to see the most beautiful thing, the banner ad for OUR NEW RECORD (OUT NOW ON MODERN RADIO) at the top o' the board.

posted on Apr 30th, 2008 at 06:02:03 pm

4/28
The drive through Northern California was unreal. Stopped in most stoned town on Planet Earth. The contact high was sufficient enough for all of us to forget the name of it. I've never been so nervous of ordering Subway in my entire life, but the kid who was working there didn't exactly look, um, "with it." He was multi-tasking on a level only undertaken and then underachieved by stoners of an extreme degree. Shared the last night of three with our French new friends Crash Normal. Had a completely surreal experience that involved garbage bags, reenacting scenes from "Reefer Madness," speaking in gestures, whistles, winks, nods, farting noises, laughter, etc...Jerome the singer was rolling around on the floor wearing a football helmet playing a trumpet. Strange Days.

posted on May 01st, 2008 at 02:40:57 pm

4/29-30
Portland is weird and it makes me feel weird, but I'm glad I got to see some folks I haven't in a while. Will (who posts here under the name "Will"), set us up some awesome shows and let us crash at his house (which is supremely appreciated), and is just an all around great dude (who's band is pretty damn good too). Also got to hang with Projunior, and man, sight for sore eyes x10. The kid never ceases to brighten up my day, good dude to the max.

posted on May 04th, 2008 at 04:23:44 pm

5/1
Olympia happened.

5/2
Then there was Seattle.

5/3
Missoula, Montana. I love you. How serendipitous is it that the second place horse in the Kentucky Derby met his/her end due to a predicament so near and dear to my own heart. It was the best show of our tour, by far, and I don't think we've played like that ever. Perhaps it was some cosmic tension that was building up so furiously throughout the 27 or so shows we've done this tour that it had to burst tonight. That it had to dissipate wildly because it was a "last show." The end of our lively hood for the last month and the final spurt of aggression towards having to go back to our day jobs; the ho hum bullshit. Then, as we were persuaded to play more songs by the audience and we moved into "Funhouse," I broke my goddamn foot. Snap. And as I was writhing around on the floor trying to sing but trying hard not to puke and trying harder to see through the stars, I could only imagine that everyone thought that it was an act. So with all of that energy that was finally coming to a head, I took the rest of it and laid it on my foot. It was just so blinding and surreal. We played one more song as I propped myself on the keyboard stand. The show ended and I laid in a booth heaving through the pain. I don't have health insurance, I don't have money, and I honestly have nothing but worry for what I am going to do about this. Sorry to end this on a down note, but we had our third piece of misfortune (rule of threes) and it's just proof that there's no escaping fate or superstition.

posted on May 04th, 2008 at 09:24:03 pm

Got back from urgent care. It's kind of funny, but I snapped my pinky toe in half. The tip is separated from the base entirely. Hurts like a bitch, tevs. $200, I'll survive. Thanks for the kind words!